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  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Jenny - Studio Killers
  • Drinking: Water
I felt bad. Not regular bad, though. That kind of bad that means depression is seeping into my life. I have for a while now. Good habits give way to old lazy ones. Ones that I do even though they make me miserable. So I decided to finally watch these too TEDtalks I had been avoiding: “Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share” and “Three Myths of Behavior Change - What You Think You Know That You Don’t: Jeni Cross”. I got almost exactly halfway through the first one when I looked out the window and thought “I want to go outside. I don’t go outside enough. I really want to go outside.” What Andrew Solomon said the next few moments backed up this thought. He didn’t say anything about the outdoors. He said “Depression is an illness of how you feel, and if you feel better, then you are effectively not depressed anymore”. Obviously this does not mean the person will never be depressed again, or that it is no longer a big issue, but merely, as how I interpreted it, that we should not ignore the things which help us feel better. Feel free. So went outside. I went outside in my green fussy socks and cloud pattered pajama pants, with no coat on and no mind to how crazy my bed head looked. I felt great. Not elated, just good. Which, after feeling depressed, feels great. I started, without much thought put into the matter, to do a chore I usually avoid. I gathered fallen fir tree branches from around the front yard, and then the back, and put them into the green house to dry. We use them as kindling. There have been several storms of late, and it’s my job to clean up the branches and make the yard look nice again. I don’t usually do it. Not unless there is someone else around to silently brad to about being a good daughter who does her chores. This time I did it because I wanted to. It felt good. It felt great. I felt better. Then I came back in and wrote this, cuz I thought “I should write this down. And finish the video.” Before that, though, I will be putting Mom’s black pants in the washer, cuz she called and asked. I don’t feel like it is too much work, in that weird, nonsensical depressive way.  

The pants went in the washer. As I washed the pre-additive soap off my hands the sink made a scary gurgling sound. It startled me, but then I smiled, a big smile, and giggled. I still feel better. I have come to the conclusion (something I already knew but had been avoiding) that just doing the things that I have the urge to do, such as going outside whenever the fancy hits me, or watching an educational video, is a large part of beating depression. And I must ignore the things which I know will entertain me but at the same time, at its core, make me feel miserable. Things such as the excessive reading of fan fiction, log stretches of TV watching, aimless internet surfing, and overall procrastination and reclusive behavior. It is not so much that I must force daily life upon myself, but that I must allow myself to be happy, to go outside the lines when I need to, and to take time to notice and appreciate all the little things that happen from moment to moment. To do what needs to be done and to take joy from knowing that I am doing something that needs to be done instead of ignoring it, and thus feeling bad about ignoring it. This is hard to explain, but for me it seems to work. When I do these things, I feel my vitality.

 

I finished the first video. I highly recommend it. Especially the end.

 

The second video was not about what I expected it to be about, but it helped me nonetheless. I now have a better understanding of why the stuff I mentioned above works. Plus, it helped me understand people and motivational skills better. I highly recommend this video as well.

deviantID

44NTW44
Jo Mo
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
Skin of choice: Not sticky.
Personal Quote: Would you like an egg sandwich? =3
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:iconwaitingforlefty:
waitingforlefty Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the favorite! Patchy is very beautiful. :wave:
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:iconcloudwhisperer67:
Cloudwhisperer67 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Reply
:iconsekele:
Sekele Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014
I'm replying to you'r comment comments.deviantart.com/1/4430… , because Dobson is being a big baby and won't let me reply on his stuff 

the picture is from the anime Kill la Kill 

now, I'm usually not a fan of anime, but this one is definitely worth checking out
it's one of the most over-the-top insane things I've seen in years 

the characters don't talk, they make GRAND SPEECHES 
they don't just appear, they make GRAND ENTRANCES 
every fight is more over-the-top than the last one
all of the characters are LARGER THAN LIFE

there's also the rule that the more revealing and tacky a character's outfit is, the more powerful they are (how this works is actually a major plot point in the series)  
aside from that there's a ton of plot-twists and character development throughout the series 24 episodes run 

here's the very first scene from the very first episode 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4zDUC…
it all just escalates from there onward 

sorry for spamming you'r page, but Dobson has a bit of an ego 
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:icon44ntw44:
44NTW44 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Student Writer
The large message fits the scene it links too. XD
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:iconsekele:
Sekele Featured By Owner May 8, 2014
you need to go big to do a series like this justice 
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:iconstitchy-face:
Stitchy-Face Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks a lot for watching and supporting me <3
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:icon44ntw44:
44NTW44 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Student Writer
^_^
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:iconbanana-banshee:
Banana-Banshee Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Professional
Thank you very much for the favourite! ^^:heart:
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:iconbewitchedrune:
Bewitchedrune Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you for adding my Brightest star body painting! Hexentanz 
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:iconvimislikart:
VimislikArt Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!
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